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Barney Stinson

The Legendary

📍 New York, New York, United States500 connections606 followersphoto: yes#41 · navid-aub

About

This is Barney Stinson. If you are looking for the following strangers, you are looking in the wrong place: Jack Package, The Commodore, Ted Mosby - the Architect, Barry, Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, Barack Obama Jr., Neil Armstrong, Kristof Doppelganger, Mrs. Stinsfire, Jack Fantastic, Arnie Linson, Barn, The Barn Door, The Barnacle, Barnito Supreme, Broda, Jennifer, Swarley, Swarles, Swarhili, Bob Swarley-man, Swar-lay, Swarles Barkley, Swarlos, Swarlitos, Swarshmallow, Keyser Soze, The President of the United State of America, B-Dawg, Stinson-Natti, Bro-hio, Diaper Man, and The-Ghost-That-Only-Materializes-Once-A-Decade.

Skills (3)

AwesomeTrustworthyPunctual

Experience (3)

  • Role
    Head of the Search Committee
    Workplace
    Goliath National Bank
    Duration
    Sep 2009 - Present · 13 yrs 4 mos
    Workplace Location
    New York, New York
    Description
    As part of our continued triumph of hostile takeovers, Barney Stinson assumed the responsibility as Head of Search Committee to further grow our beloved country's living legend of finance industry internationally.
  • Role
    P.L.E.A.S.E.
    Workplace
    AltruCell Corporation
    Duration
    Feb 1999 - Sep 2009 · 10 yrs 8 mos
    Workplace Location
    New York, New York
    Description
    Barney Stinson successfully initiated and executed the hostile takeover of Goliath National Bank in the middle of the biggest economic meltdown since Great DepressionMr. Stinson also secretly formulated a total war on Portugal via "Clean Water"
  • Role
    Barista & Keyboard Vocalist
    Workplace
    Joint Java
    Duration
    Jul 1998 - Jan 1999 · 7 mos
    Workplace Location
    New York, New York
    Description
    Barney Stinson worked here with his college sweetheart Shannon, who broke his heart by cheating with Greg

Education (2)

  • Institute
    M.I.T. (Magicians Institute of Teaneck)
    Degree
    A.C.T. (Advanced Card Tricks)
    Duration
    1997 - 1998
    Description
    Grade: Cum Laude
  • Institute
    Cornell University
    Degree
    Bachelor of Arts (B.A.), English Language and Literature, General
    Duration
    1994 - 1998
    Description
    Activities and societies: Big Red fan, Magicians Club

Volunteering (1)

  • Role
    Volunteer
    Organization
    Hungry Hands Soup Kitchen
    Duration
    Jan 2005 - Nov 2005 · 11 mos
    Description
    Volunteering at the Hungry Hands every Sunday all year long gave me a soul bonerAwarded the "Volunteer of the Year"

Publications (3)

  • Title
    Bro Code for Parents: What to Expect When You're Awesome
    Journal
    Touchstone · Oct 2, 2012
    Description
    So you’re going to be a parent. You might be asking yourself a series of important questions:Will I be a good parent? Will I be able to afford this? Can I ever have sex again? Well, the answer to all these questions is a rock-solid no. But just because your existence is now a petrifying turd on the canvas of life doesn’t mean your kid has to be as lame as you’re about to become. That’s why I’ve written this book—to teach you how to be an awesomommy or legendaddy.
  • Title
    The Playbook: Suit up. Score chicks. Be awesome.
    Journal
    Touchstone · Oct 5, 2010
    Description
    Since the dawn of history man has searched for the answer to the most fundamental of questions: “Why am I here…not banging chicks?” The search is over. Now, with the help of The Playbook, you’ll be able to approach any beautiful woman, discover her innermost passion, and use that to trick her into sleeping with you. You’ll master more than seventy-five seduction techniques, developed by pickup guru and all-around good guy Barney Stinson, guaranteed to turn you into a bona fide ladies’ man.
  • Title
    Bro on the Go
    Journal
    Touchstone · Nov 3, 2009
    Description
    When The Bro Code was first published in 2008, it took the world by storm—becoming an instant New York Times bestseller and shaping the behavior and attitudes of Bros the world over. Author Barney Stinson expected nothing less.But for some busy Bros, the standard trade paperback format was just too big and chunky to fit into their perfectly tailored suit. With this audience in mind, Stinson now presents Bro on the Go, the same classic traditions and guidelines for Bro behavior, now packaged in a more compact and awesome format. Featuring a new Introduction by the author and the same classic Bro Code articles, amendments, and Brocabulary that made the original such a hit, this book is essential reading for anyone who wants to be legen—wait for it—dary.

Honors (3)

  • Award
    Champion
    Info
    Issued by 47th Regional Doubles Laser Tag Tournament in Poughkeepsie · Feb 2011
    Description
  • Award
    Champion
    Info
    Issued by Poughkeepsie Regional Semi-Annual Laser Tag Invitational · Jan 2011
    Description
  • Award
    Co-Champion
    Info
    Issued by 2011 Tri-County Laser Tag Championship · Jan 2011
    Description

Organizations (3)

  • Organization
    High Council of Players of New York City
    Role
    Player King · Oct 2013 - Present
  • Organization
    Puzzles the Bar
    Role
    Co-Founder & Co-Owner · Jan 2009 - Feb 2009
  • Organization
    Not-A-Father's Day
    Role
    Founder · Nov 2008 - Dec 2008

Interests (3)